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French Elections


The French are voting today, and already we know that turnout is at a record low just one month after the LePen fiasco.

Who can blame them? We are no longer allowed to belittle the French electorate, because in our last election we wound up with George W. Anyhow, it is slightly creepy that all the major political figures over there seem to have gone to school together. At least here we have Harvard and Yale, not just one froufrou 'Superior Normal School' to cultivate our future leaders in.

But elections are not important. What is important is to live in a country where the grocery store has a bazillion kinds of cheese, and there is no de-luxe conveyor belt at the checkout counter, just a miniscule little shelf to balance your cheeses on. And where beer and yogurts come in tiny little containers, so you can go through them like cherry tomatoes. I miss the talk shows that feature a huge table artfully covered with books, and six grizzled intellectuals drooling at the busty young moderator, where the audience sits in wrap-around bleachers that look more appropriate to a season finale of American Gladiator. I miss the evening news, where the newscaster is bright orange and has hot pink lips. Why doesn't Peter Jennings get pink lips?

Even the cats, I am sure, would be classier in France. They would eat côtelettes de volaille, and we could call them 'minou'.

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