« "French Rockets In Iraq" Story DiscreditedReptilian Kitten-Eaters, Canadian Beefcake »

When Physicists Attack

A couple of days ago, I wrote about the saga of John Titor, self-proclaimed time traveler. Now Robert Brown, a professor of physics at Duke University, has taken a look at the details of Titor's story. And by 'taken a look', I mean 'utterly destroyed with the unquenchable fires of his all-consuming righteous anger':

Seriously, I could go on and on and on. I haven't even gotten to the raw thermodynamics of it all. That suitcase would require a small lake to cool in operation, for example. And then the culture capable of these miracles of technology that indicate total mastery of materials science, quantum mechanics, gravity, superconductors, a society that has in its possession a star drive (for the goddamn thing would clearly work as such as easily as a "time machine" -- arbitrary translation in four space is arbitrary translation in four space and they have to play all sorts of games to NOT go off into space FTL) then is sending somebody back to our time to get an IBM 5100, a piece of **** computer that is an embarrassment to IBM to this day, because it is somehow capable of some translation chore that appears to be beyond them and is related to the Unix non-problem of a 4 byte unsigned int counter for its current time?

What, did all the programmers in the world suffer brain damage in the war? Physics got really popular and they could no longer get anybody to learn to program? Computers do all the programming now and programming in C or perl is a lost art? Computers have come to life and are on strike for better working conditions so they are reduced to finding and bringing "back" an IBM 5100 (out of ALL THE COMPUTERS THAT WERE EVER BUILT) in preference to just bringing back a goddamn programming reference for the language(s) they need to translate and building a translator with e.g. perl on a 2036 teraflop PDA?

He does go on and on and on. It's wonderful.

« "French Rockets In Iraq" Story DiscreditedReptilian Kitten-Eaters, Canadian Beefcake »

Greatest Hits

The Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel
The story of America's most awesome infrastructure project.

Argentina on Two Steaks A Day
Eating the happiest cows in the world

Scott and Scurvy
Why did 19th century explorers forget the simple cure for scurvy?

No Evidence of Disease
A cancer story with an unfortunate complication.

Controlled Tango Into Terrain
Trying to learn how to dance in Argentina

Dabblers and Blowhards
Calling out Paul Graham for a silly essay about painting

Attacked By Thugs
Warsaw police hijinks

Dating Without Kundera
Practical alternatives to the Slavic Dave Matthews

A Rocket To Nowhere
A Space Shuttle rant

Best Practices For Time Travelers
The story of John Titor, visitor from the future

100 Years Of Turbulence
The Wright Brothers and the harmful effects of patent law

Every Damn Thing

2020 Mar Apr Jun Aug Sep Oct
2019 May Jun Jul Aug Dec
2018 Oct Nov Dec
2017 Feb Sep
2016 May Oct
2015 May Jul Nov
2014 Jul Aug
2013 Feb Dec
2012 Feb Sep Nov Dec
2011 Aug
2010 Mar May Jun Jul
2009 Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep
2008 Jan Apr May Aug Nov
2007 Jan Mar Apr May Jul Dec
2006 Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov
2005 Jan Feb Mar Apr Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2004 Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Oct Nov Dec
2003 Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec
2002 May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec

Your Host

Maciej Cegłowski


Please ask permission before reprinting full-text posts or I will crush you.